pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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