Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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