we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
