I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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