I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
