in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
