No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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