epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
