i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
