PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
