omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
