I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
