Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something