I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole