Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
