if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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