Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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