Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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