I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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