they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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