Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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