she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
