at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
