This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
