he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
