scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
