seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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