Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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