what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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