so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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