Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I looked at my own cervix.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
