FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
