he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
