My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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