You made me cry and you don't even care
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
