Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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