dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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