It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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