We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I love you.
Bad choice
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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