yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
