you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
