It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
