I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have feelings that need drinking.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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