Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
