why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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