i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
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woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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