she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
