Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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