he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
