so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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