office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
