Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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