U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My ass is underappreciated
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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