16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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