Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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